By Rion B. Kweller, Ph.D.
With Thanksgiving behind us, and Hanukah, Christmas, and Kwanza just ahead, many of us are in a whirlwind of the season’s offerings and promise. Our calendars fill with commitments and events. We network. We party. We travel and entertain. We gather with friends and family. The rhythm of our lives accelerates without our even noticing.
If we were less busy, might there be some time for reflection about our lives? Might there be moments to stop and think? What is there to be thankful for? What might we appreciate a bit more fully? What do we pass by as we bear down on the next activity, social event, shopping extravaganza or school assembly?
We all are hurried. No criticism is implied. It is simply the realization that in the rush to get the turkey on the table while the mashed potatoes are still hot, or by buzzing down busy streets to buy the season’s most popular toy, we may lose sight of why we are going to all the bother. For that much effort, what is the pay-off?
Perhaps we are trying to tell those that we are close to that we love them. The gifts and meals are a reflection of that. Great! Maybe we could also add a bit of talk and personal touch to the mix. We might tell someone special that we care for them a great deal. We could hold someone close and to let someone we care for know through that gesture that they are valued. Or maybe just spending some individual time together, would send the message of deep appreciation.
If we slow down a bit, perhaps the physical world around us comes more into focus, too. One client of mine is able to capture the most special moments in her photographs of the ordinary. There are ‘wow’ moments in those images. Her work is able to remind us of how blind we can be when we forget to look.
When the pace slows, people also have opportunity to make connections with others. We learn that each of us has our struggles, but tales of courage, generosity, kindness of spirit, and selflessness are qualities shared by many and bind us to each other. The stories of perseverance, of overcoming adversity, of love and forgiveness are both unique and universal. We admire movies and books that speak to our humanity because they remind us of how we sometimes triumph and sometimes miss the opportunity for those connections in our own lives. Poor relationships can be very painful, but strong relationships nourish and sustain us.
Bad things do happen in the world. Many troubling events seem far beyond our control. We need to work overtime on what is within our control. We can try harder to risk sharing our feelings. We can try more often to appreciate the beauty around us, and we can challenge ourselves to repair the world through our individual efforts. Life passes in a flash. Grab it while you can.
About the Author:
Rion Kweller is an Executive Coach and Licensed Psychologist in Williamsville, NY. His web-sites are www.iplanforsuccess.com and bhn.org. To reach Dr. Kweller call 716 634-1184 or e-mail him at rion@iplanforsuccess.com.
