It’s okay to struggle, especially now
If you can’t do it yourself, ask for help!
by Annette Pinder
Victoria (Tori) Brooks, MD, directs Erie County Medical Center’s (ECMC) comprehensive psychiatric emergency program providing emergency treatment for patients facing acute mental health issues. A native Buffalonian, Tori attended Boston College and returned to UB for Medical School and to complete her residency. “I always knew I wanted to be a doctor. I love science and find the human body to be an amazing creation,” says Tori. However, it was during medical school that she decided to become a psychiatrist.
Tori understands the importance of her patients’ need for both psychotherapy and medication management, saying, “A benefit of working in an academic department is being able to practice good clinical care, independent of time constraints.” Tori also enjoys teaching residents and medical students. She believes it is important for psychiatrists and psychotherapists to work together for best possible outcomes saying, “Often patients think taking medications and confiding in supportive friends and family members is sufficient. However, the emotional connection of friends and family members can’t provide the objectivity of a trained therapist.”
Tori sees about 13,000 patients yearly in the Psych ER saying, “It’s amazing to see how far the mind can stray. They are people from all walks of life.” Each patient is triaged in a secure area. If there is no imminent risk of danger, alternative treatment opportunities are available, including the ECMC Help Center, a behavioral health urgent care clinic open for walk-ins with extended hours, including weekends and holidays. Tori has seen significant changes since the pandemic began. “Initially, patients feared coming to the hospital, but by July, we started seeing more patients than the average for this time of year. We see increases in visits related to substance use, including relapses among those who previously achieved sobriety, loss of housing, and domestic violence. Sadly, we are seeing many children in crisis. While multifactorial, the lack of routine that regular school schedules previously provided is sorely missed in most households. “I even see my own children struggle to understand this pandemic, the changes it has brought to human behavior and life, like why, since March, it became dangerous to hug a grandparent.”
Tori loves spending time with her husband, Chris, who is a stay-at-home dad, their son and daughter ages 3 and 7, and their adorable beagle Ozzie. The whole family loves baseball and Ozzie was named after former St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Ozzie Smith, known for doing flips on the field. Ozzie, whose ears were so big and awkward as a puppy, would drag his head on the ground and tumble over. The family isn’t lacking for opportunities to have fun. Recently, when their daughter complained about missing fun times with babysitters due to the pandemic, Tori and Chris dressed up as the babysitter and her obnoxious boyfriend, making for great laughs all around.
“The pandemic has made us much more self-sufficient and we find that we are getting pleasure from little things,” said Tori. “This year we grew herbs, peppers, carrots, beets, turnips, green beans, peas, cucumbers, strawberries, and raspberries in our garden. The kids love picking berries, pulling carrots from the ground, and fetching parsley for dinner.” They also planted milkweed to attract monarch butterflies, bought netting, and brought butterfly eggs into the kitchen, enthralled with Mona the Monarch’s metamorphosis. When it was time to release Mona, they shared the experience at school, to the cheers of classmates. Making homemade bread together has become another popular activity. See their recipe on page 52.
Tori says being a mom is the best thing she has ever done but admits that it is challenging. “I often laugh about how I am an expert in behavioral health but am often at a loss in handling challenges of my children’s everyday behavior!” Knowing most parents face the same challenges, she encourages them to remember to act in their kids’ best interests, even if it isn’t always going to be popular. Tori also talks about the difficulties of being consistent and on the same team with your partner, saying, “It’s exhausting!” Still, she says, “The rewards of parenting far outweigh the challenges. I feel like a success in having created these amazing creatures!”
Tori wants to remind people that, “It’s okay to struggle, especially now, with what our world is going through. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and limitations, and don’t be too proud to ask for help if you really can’t handle things alone.”
