By Amy Beth Taublieb, PhD

Rather than a cluster of symptoms which can be treated with medications, narcissism is more accurately conceptualized as a way of interacting with others, a interpersonal style

What are some of the features of narcissism?

Individuals with Narcissism superficially appear to be very “full of themselves.” They tend to look for special treatment, thrive on admiration, exaggerate minor accomplishments, are extremely focused on success and power, and often treat others in a condescending manner. Narcissists are often perceived as being arrogant or conceited. They are jealous of others at the same time they believe others are jealous of them. Probably what is most obvious is they have little concern or awareness of the impact of their behaviors on others. Further, when they are not treated in the “special” manner in which they believe they should be, narcissists can become explosively angry and at times, emotionally, or physically abusive.

Why do narcissists behave the way they do?

Although the clinically unsophisticated believe that narcissists are extremely fond of themselves, in reality, nothing is further from the truth. These individuals lack self-esteem to such a severe extent that they require others to validate their worth. The special treatment they demand is actually their way of proving to themselves (and to the rest of the world) their worth. As such, they are especially sensitive and easily upset when they perceive this desired treatment is not forthcoming. This special treatment is their lifeline — required to provide them with a reason to exist and function. If it’s not provided as they believe it should be, things often become catastrophic.

What if I am involved with a narcissist?

Currently, pop psychology is replete with self-help books, articles, and internet material offering suggestions to those who are involved with narcissists. However, since no two people (and therefore no two situations) are alike, an approach which would be helpful in one situation may actually prove to be detrimental in another. Thus, if you believe that a person close to you has narcissistic tendencies, rather than follow some generalized one-liners, it’s recommended that you see a clinical professional to address your specific situation.

Can narcissism be treated?

Psychotherapy with a clinician who is experienced in treating narcissism is the optimal form of clinical intervention. The narcissist needs to feel understood (and not attacked or criticized) for their interpersonal style. Dynamically informed cognitive behavior therapy is often the treatment of choice. Commonly, narcissists don’t not believe that they need treatment. If they come to therapy, it is typically to complain about others in their lives, friends, family members, or significant others with a goal of consulting a therapist in order to complain about them.

Dr. AmyBeth Taublieb is a licensed psychologist in Western New York. Dr. Taublieb is also an author, media personality, and public speaker, with an active private practice in providing psychotherapy and assessment for individuals, couples and families. Contact Dr. Taublieb at 716-834-1505, and learn more at www.dramybeth.com.