By Amy Beth Taublieb, PhD

Hello everyone! Well, we made it through the holiday season (more or less), and now we are facing a brand-new year. Usually, at this time, people start talking about how they plan to improve themselves. Sometimes it’s about healthy eating, weight, exercise, spending habits, addictive issues, keeping our house neater — the list goes on and on! 

While it’s always healthy to consider ways to improve the quality of our lives, it’s not healthy to think about improving ourselves in a negative way. There is a difference! When we focus on improving ourselves, it often implies that we believe we are not good enough. In other words, we think that there is something wrong with us that needs fixing to be okay psychologically (whatever that means)! As a result, we come up with elaborate plans to change ourselves, but these plans usually don’t last long. Then, we feel even worse because we failed again.

As my patients have heard me say many times, much depends on how we think about things. There is a big difference between telling ourselves that we “need to change” and telling ourselves that we are entitled to a better quality of life. If we choose the latter approach, we focus less on changing ourselves and more on altering our external environment to live the most fulfilling life possible. Additionally, by taking the second approach, we are doing something FOR ourselves rather than demanding something FROM ourselves. We are setting ourselves up for a no-lose situation rather than a no-win one.

Remember, you’re completely fine just as you are. You deserve the best life possible. You should make some changes to increase your chances of happiness and mental well-being. However, you don’t have to change the core of who you are. Instead, give yourself the gift of adjusting your environment, refining some of your behaviors, and most importantly, reshaping how you view yourself. You deserve a better life, and you should do what it takes to achieve it. Do this for yourself because you are more than enough, just as you are!

Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb has been a licensed psychologist in WNY for over 25 years, working with individuals, groups, couples, families, schools, courts, and businesses. She offers therapy for patients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, grief and loss, as well as other issues. She is also a renowned media personality, author, and public speaker. Learn more about exploring her services at www.dramybeth.com or call her at 716-834-1505. Dr. Taublieb would also like you to let us know if there is a subject you would like her to explore in a future article by writing to us at info@buffalohealthyliving.com.