Many of us feel a sense of relief when the holidays are over, welcoming a return to a more predictable and structured routine. Too often, the holidays come with high expectations for joy, connection, or “perfect” experiences. When these aren’t met, the end of the season can bring relief from feelings of disappointment or pressure. For some, the holidays may also highlight personal struggles, such as loneliness, grief, or family tension.

So, what causes feelings of disappointment? Why do many of us mourn for what we perceive as unmet hopes, expectations, values, and regret for emotional investment in others?

I have found that when I set too many expectations, I become emotionally attached to the outcomes. If those expectations aren’t met, I feel a sense of loss for the hopes that I had that did not materialize. However, I have learned that most of our expectations stem from our shared human need for love, recognition, and success. When these are unmet, it can feel like a void or personal failure, leaving us to grieve our loss.

I have had conversations with many people recently who express similar feelings and experiences. Those conversations have taught me that disappointments and unmet expectations are common in life, and that recognizing and processing these feelings, instead of suppressing them, can help move us forward and build our resilience.

Regardless of what you experienced this holiday season, it really is a great time to begin the year, knowing that there is every reason to feel motivated, start fresh, set goals, and work on being your best in the new year!