By Annette Pinder
In addition to never expecting a breast cancer diagnosis, I also never anticipated owning a magazine, or putting myself on its cover. But after 15 years of printing what is now the 174th edition of Buffalo Healthy Living, I thought this might be the perfect time to share some of the many unexpected twists and turns my life has taken, and the lessons I have learned along the way.
Most people go to college to become something. They may have decided to become a teacher, as I did, or a doctor, lawyer, nurse, or engineer. They then pursue a course of study to achieve their goal. What most people don’t realize is that there are many other choices along the path to finding your way.
One of my most poignant memories is when my best friend Marilyn and I cut our Chaucer class, which was quite daring for me. As we sat on a bench in Central Park on a beautiful sunny afternoon, we promised one another that we’d never give in to getting old in our ways, and that we’d remain open to ideas, possibilities, learning, and being forever curious. We’d be blood sisters for life, and I have tried to honor that promise to this day.
Marilyn and I also took chances we’d never want our own kids to take. We hitchhiked to San Francisco from New York and survived. We drank a cheap bottle of wine in the Bowery one night after seeing a Doors concert at the Fillmore East, and got very sick. (Thankfully, we survived and never did it again.) We rushed sorority together and quit two days after getting in, because after smoking a joint we thought it was too hypocritical to join a club based on popularity and appearance. And then, without telling anyone at all, I boarded a bus to live in a commune in rural Massachusetts.
The Brotherhood of the Spirit wasn’t your average commune. The sign when you approached the entrance said, “No Drugs, No Alcohol, No Smoking, No Promiscuity.” After all I was seeing in New York, I was more than ready to drop out, and ready to take on what I thought the world needed — love, brotherhood, respect, and kindness. Convinced the world needed saving in a big way, I was ready to meet the challenge.
The Brotherhood of the Spirit commune eventually became the Renaissance Community, a 501C3 religious organization founded on brotherhood. We appeared on the cover of Life Magazine, on 60 Minutes, in film documentaries, and hundreds of photographs at the University of Massachusetts archives. We owned several houses and tons of property, a twin-engine Cessna plane, an opera house, music and grocery store, a pizza place, gourmet restaurant, Renaissance Greeting Cards, a silk-screen company that is still thriving, and Rocket’s Silver Train, a bus company that took rock groups like Iggy Pop, James Taylor, and Linda Ronstadt on tour. It was all pretty amazing, and the lessons learned are unforgettable, some good, some bad, but all good in the end.
I have come to realize that I am truly just one small part of a very big universe. Growing up in New York, I didn’t realize how much existed beyond my small world. I have come to realize the potential in every person to make the world better, regardless of education, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. I’ve also learned that everyone — literally everyone, has a great story. So, when people ask me why someone is on the cover of Buffalo Healthy Living who isn’t well known, I ask, “Why not? We all deserve to be known.”
My favorite poem has always been “The Road Not Taken,” by Robert Frost. So, it is fitting that one of the greatest lessons for me has been that, even when you intend to follow a certain path, life has a way of tossing you here and there to land you exactly where you need to be. It took me to University of Michigan in Ann Arbor where I worked in administration at one of the best teaching hospitals in the world, and where I also attended classes during work time. It took me to Buffalo to work as a paralegal, a marketing director, and to publishing a health magazine and producing a television show. Most of all, I have adhered to my promise to my dear friend Marilyn, who earned a PhD in clinical psychology, to stay forever young-minded and curious.
And, last but not least, I am forever grateful to experience becoming a grandma, a title I never knew could hold so much joy and incredible opportunities to remain forever young through seeing the world through the eyes of a child.
