by Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb

  1. Dreading the holidays? Know you’re not alone! One of the worst things about feeling angry, sad, anxious, or even numb around holiday time is the sense of feeling unique in experiencing these emotions. Actually, nothing is further from the truth. Despite repeated messages that this is “the most wonderful time of the year,” many folks are dreading these early winter weeks. However, since we are told that we’re not supposed to feel this way, most of us do not verbalize these feelings. As a result, we never know how many others feel exactly as we do.
  2. Try to determine the source of your negativity. Regardless of the nature of our unpleasant feelings around holiday time, typically it’s not the holiday season itself to which we are reacting, but rather our associations with it. Whether it be grief/loss, recollections of holidays gone by, disappointment regarding your current lifestyle, or some combination of these, it doesn’t matter. Once you identify the source of your displeasure with the holiday season, you’re on your way to feeling better.
  3. Within reason, do only what you want to do. Evaluate the demands you perceive as being placed on you. Ask yourself if these are truly required obligations, or if they are simply demands that you are placing on yourself. Then, construct a realistic appraisal of what would happen if you didn’t completely fulfill these demands. Chances are, you will be positively surprised at how many of your holiday stressors are actually more optional than mandatory.
  4. Give yourself the “perfect” holiday present. Nobody is a better judge of what you would love to receive than you are. So, whether it’s an entire day of remaining in bed, a shopping trip at the mall, a special meal, time spent with a friend, or a day separated from the rest of the world – it doesn’t matter. Treat yourself by giving yourself what you want and need. Remember, you truly do deserve it.
  5. Remember that despite external messages, any given day is just that – any given day. A holiday is only different from every other day because we make it such by engaging in different behaviors. So, if you truly want to avoid the holiday mentality, give yourself permission to have your holiday be similar to any other day. Nobody can force you to celebrate. And, if you indeed choose not to acknowledge a given day as being a holiday, that is perfectly all right. Honest!

Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb is a licensed psychologist in WNY who works with individuals, groups, couples, families, schools, courts, and businesses. She offers therapy for patients struggling with anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, grief and loss, as well as other issues. Dr. Taublieb is also an author and frequent presenter in the media. Learn more at www.dramybeth.com or call 716-834-1505.