People enter relationships to improve their lives, but unfortunately, some become unhealthy and abusive. The National Domestic Violence Hotline states that many abusive individuals seem calm and “normal” in the early stages of a relationship, so when abuse begins, it often catches victims off guard.

Family and domestic violence affects around 10 million people each year in the U.S. About 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men are victims of domestic violence. Physical signs of abuse might not always be visible, and when emotional abuse occurs before violent acts, others may not realize that anything is wrong. Here are some behaviors and early warning signs that you could be dealing with an abusive person.

  • Taking initiative in building a relationship and communicating very openly right after the first meeting.
  • Exhibiting intense jealousy, accusing you of cheating, or preventing you from going out out of fear you might meet someone else.
  • Controlling behaviors like hoarding all the money and requiring permission for everything.
  • Hinders or stops you from spending time with family, friends, or peers.
  • Making insulting, demeaning, or shaming comments, especially in front of others.
  • Blaming you for mistakes or issues.
  • They get insulted easily and lose their temper when angry.
  • Expecting you to serve and obey at all times.
  • Sudden mood swings and quick shifts between gentle and aggressive behavior.
  • Intimidating someone with threatening looks or weapons.
  • Threatening to harm you or someone you care about.

If you notice any of these warning signs, seek help immediately. Abuse is never the victim’s fault. In an emergency, call 9-1-1. Locally, both the BESAFE Domestic Violence Advocacy Program (716-858-4630) and Family Justice Center (fjcsafe.org) assist victims of domestic violence (716-558-7233).