“Small acts of inclusion in daily life create a world where everyone feels they matter.” Unknown

Over the past year I have spoken with adult women who feel isolated from their family and extended family – a woman dying of cancer unwelcome in her son’s home; a hypercritical son; a daughter who resents her sibling.

We are in the midst of a global loneliness epidemic, and I can’t help but think that these fault lines in our communication exacerbate it. In writing for Psychology Today, Janice Webb, PhD, notes the importance of inclusion in families and extended families in helping reduce loneliness’ harmful effects.

Family relationships are the cornerstone of society, a source of support, love, and guidance. Webb says when exclusion emerges in families, it is detrimental to the individual and family as a whole, and can manifest as emotional neglect, favoritism, silent treatment, and lack of involvement in family activities. It can occur due to differences in interests, beliefs, personalities, disabilities, or mental health issues, and can be overt or subtle, intentional or unintentional, but its impact is invariably profound. Webb says the long-term psychological effects of exclusion can lead to isolation, rejection, low self-worth, long term anxiety and depression, strained relationships between family members, and lack of cohesion and functionality of the family.

In contrast, Webb says inclusion embraces open communication, mutual respect, and cooperation, and families that embrace inclusion experience a sense of deep belonging, acceptance, and validation. She says included family members experience positive emotions and a sense of security, enhancing their mental health and resilience, and ability to navigate life’s challenges in difficult times. Inclusion’s impact on young children is particularly profound, teaching them empathy and understanding, allowing them to have shared experiences in a family culture where each member feels valued and supported, and where they can freely develop their own interests, talents, confidence, independence, and sense of purpose.

At a time when loneliness has reached epidemic proportions, I can’t help but think that alleviating its effects just might begin at home.

Happy Valentine’s Day!