by Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb 

As the days begin to get longer, temperatures are not quite as frigid, and folks are spending more time outdoors. A time of rebirth and cheer, correct? Well, not necessarily for many!  Actually, this time of year is often one of the most difficult times for those experiencing grief and loss.

As the weather becomes more pleasant, it is harder to justify hibernating at home, either emotionally or physically. There seems to be an unspoken expectation to be outside, to enjoy the weather, and to be social — a demand many grieving folks view as impossible to meet. This leaves some who are grieving feeling inadequate — as if there is “something wrong with them” because they are not participating in the happy events and being in the positive moods that can seem so pervasive.

Further, depending on the individual, the spring and summer seasons can bring their own set of memories of meaningful times spent together, including birthdays, celebrations, holidays, or even anniversary dates relevant to the loved one’s loss. Again, these situations can make this time of year extremely hard to navigate emotionally.

Finally, many people who are grieving speak about the calm sense of relief that comes from being in the dark. Often, I hear men and women describe the dark as a peaceful cocoon in which they can isolate themselves or hide without having to face the world around them. As spring and summer approach, Mother Nature provides us with far fewer of these environments, potentially resulting in decreased feelings of safety and a concomitant increase in anxiety. 

So, what is the message this article is meant to convey? First and foremost, to those suffering the pain of grief, be accepting of yourself and allow yourself to experience whatever emotions you have. Be careful not to mislabel yourself as having something psychologically wrong because of your feelings. Indeed, treat yourself in this arena the same way you would treat a dear friend. Keep in mind that there is absolutely no timeline associated with the grief reaction. It can persist for a long time, seem to have healed, and then return with a vengeance. Respect your emotions — regardless of the form they take. Get whatever help you feel is best for you. Whether it is a clinician, clergy, friend, or support group, allow yourself to receive what you need and deserve! 

Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, author, media personality, and public speaker. She maintains an active private practice offering psychotherapy and assessments for individuals, couples, and families. If you’re interested in exploring her services, contact Dr. Taublieb at 716-834-1505 or visit her website at www.dramybeth.com. If you have a specific topic that you would like Dr. Taublieb to cover in a future article, contact us at info@buffalohealthyliving.com.