By Nicole Urdang MS, NCC, DHM

If someone told me, “I’m despondent because my body has always been my refuge, but as I age it is no longer as reliable. I don’t find the same joy in walking, swimming, weightlifting, or yoga.” I would say, “Lucky you, thankfully, your body includes your mind which is more powerful than your ability to swim a mile or do power yoga!”

When your body no longer responds to commands in ways you wish, try adjusting and adapting. What seems a loss may ultimately be a gain. The fact that your ego is intertwined with what your body can do can complicate things. So, be persistent in inviting your ego to rest, even if it resists. After all, your ego lives in your body, and any form of exercise can still provide joy. It’s a matter of reframing your perspective. For example, imagine you’re an empty nester who is inspired to designate now empty rooms in your home for guests or a special hobby. As with body limitations due to aging, infirmity, or an accident, you can choose to adapt by reconfiguring your exercise choices.

In the same way that your house can suddenly feel different to you from the absence of children, an elderly parent, or pet, the process can be slow and challenging. Creativity, patience, and a boatload of self-compassion are necessary to navigate major life transitions. Your changing body and its impact on your sense of self is often a major life transition. Whatever the cause, like any new relationship, it can be full of excitement and discovery, rather than anxiety and insecurity. It’s just a question of how you choose to look at it. Every loss opens up new opportunities — if you’re willing to seek them out.

That said, it’s important to allow time to grieve. Grief is a shapeshifter. It can feel like any other emotion — sadness, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, or anger. When it comes to the body’s inability to perform how it did in the past, or how you wish it would, it can feel like an identity crisis. While it’s easy to understand attachment to people and material things, you can also be deeply attached to your self-image. This is not limited to how you look, but also to how you feel in your body, and your ability to control it. If there was ever a time to use the most important muscle in your body, your heart, and lavish yourself with kindness and love, this is it.

Here’s some inspirational music to listen to as you reclaim your sense of self in your ever-changing body: A House Is a Home by Ben Harper on Spotify at tinyurl.com/3te24dym.

Nicole S. Urdang, M.S., NCC, DHM is a Holistic Psychotherapist in Buffalo, NY. She holds a New York state license in mental health counseling and a doctorate in homeopathic medicine from the British Institute of Homeopathy. https://holisticdivorcecounseling.com.